You DESERVE self care

Do you ‘should’ yourself around your self care and Self* care practices? You deserve exquisite self care. Learn to luxuriate in even the most boring elements of it. You’re worth it (and it’s pretty much free)…

I’m generally really lucky with my back but have been experiencing some lower back issues the past few days. Promising myself a proper, full yoga practice, I STILL kept putting it off apart from doing a few emergency poses to ease the discomfort.

But when I got onto the mat and luxuriated in a full practice, I (as always) wondered why I’d resisted.

Sure, I’ve done SOME yoga every morning since 2013. It’s an essential part of my daily routine

But some health issues gave me the excuse to not push myself the last few months and now all seems to be fine again, I realised I’d not done some (back friendly) elements of my usual sequence in several weeks.

Just this one practice has helped me change my name back from Creaky McCreakface to Evie!

This is just ONE example of how self care can feel indulgent but is often preventative in avoiding health, financial, relational and all sorts of other issues build up.

What kind of movement helps YOU feel most at home in your body?

Have you been dropping that swim / bike ride / run / Pilates class / weights session / football match etc etc off your list because you ‘haven’t got the time’?

Apart from physical fitness, consider the other elements your favourite kinds of movement offer you.

My bike rides (I cycle to get around. Am not a Proper Cyclist) gives me a gorgeous sense of freedom, out in all weathers, enjoying the stunning views.

My hour long heated pool swims help me open up through my whole body and also help my brain switch off as I simply swim up and down, pausing occasionally to float or do an underwater handstand. Then, the steam room offers utter indulgence and eases my weary bones (for the few moments I can manage the heat).

My sea swims reset me for the week, helping me remember that the joy afforded by a little discomfort (cycling the 19km round trip and, let’s face it, the COLD) is absolutely worth it.

My (on days I don’t get out for a swim or bike ride) 5km daily walks (strolls – I stop frequently to take pics of the same mountain, puddles, trees, cows, sheep and donkeys I already have a gazillion pics of) give me a break, offer me weather energy cleanses (Wind! Rain! Sometimes, SUN! Releasing any old energies that I’m ready to let go of). It’s also always lovely to see neighbours out for their walks even though many days I don’t see another human the whole time.

Think about your favourite types of movement and list all the things that offer additional benefits. Things that can help you luxuriate more in them, recognising that it’s not JUST about physical health.

How does it feel to remind yourself that you deserve these benefits?

Do you get enough sleep?

Sleep is one of my specialisms because I used to struggle SO much with it.

Now, when I’m sleep deprived, it’s my own fault. I haven’t (thankfully – I put all my self care for sleep tools into practice as needed) struggled with the insomnia that plagued me from primary school until my 20s for decades.

In the past, I’d be telling myself that I ‘should’ be going to bed by midnight, attempting to have lights out by 1am. But even typing this feels punitive.

Teenage Me (or maybe even Toddler Me) is yelling, ‘I don’t wanna! Make me!’

When I reframe sleep as something I DESERVE more of, it feels more indulgent to get to bed at a reasonable time, to enjoy my winding down routines or even to nap when needed.

Forget sleep hygiene and think sleep indulgence – what rituals and routines might support better sleep for you?

How’s your health?

Have you been putting off routine or needed check ups with your doctor or dentist?

Yes, it can be scary but you DESERVE to know what’s going on with your own health from a medical perspective.

Often, you’ll get test results that put your mind at ease but even if it’s bad news, you’ll at least know what you’re dealing with instead of wasting so much energy catastrophising and potentially having things get even worse.

Which health checks have you been putting off?

How might you reward yourself for being brave and getting them sorted?

How might you remind yourself that you deserve good healthcare and good health and that whatever’s going on, HOWEVER busy you are, your body deserves the respect of being taken for important check ups and appointments?

Chores as self care? REALLY, Evie?


Much as I adore books and TV shows (and Insta Reels and TikToks etc etc) about cleaning and organisation, I’m NOT a huge fan of the actual work involved.

I love HAVING cleaned and HAVING worked in the garden rather than being one of those people who finds the acts themselves soothing.

Still, the indulgence of a hot bath in a newly cleaned bathroom, or admiring the results of a little weeding, being able to see out of freshly cleaned windows (OK, I’m not that bad but there are certain chores I really don’t enjoy)…

Creating cleaning and gardening schedules has revolutionised my life.

Sure, I rarely PROPERLY stick to it but following the skeleton means everything runs more smoothly and I don’t get as overwhelmed as I used to.

Take a few minutes to mentally (or even physically) move around your entire home and list All The Things that drain your energy.

That light bulb that needs replacing. That bit of paintwork that needs tidying. The spaces that could be better organised so they practically keep themselves tidy… Start at the front door and list EVERYTHING.

Don’t you deserve a home that welcomes you and offers you space to recharge?

Housework, gardening and DIY may not feel like self care but by taking care of our homes, we’re absolutely giving our unconscious minds the message that we are worthy of care and attention.

Don’t you deserve that?

Does your bank balance scare you?

Let Spooky Season encourage you to take a look anyway.

Get support if needed but know that nothing gets better by ignoring it.

There are all sorts of brilliant resources out there to help you face your fears around money. Keris Stainton and Santis O’Garro share their own journeys.

Financial experts Denise Duffield Thomas‘ work around money blocks, Kate Northrup‘s around money stories and Eoin McGee‘s delightful How to Be Good With Money series (where he uses salt and pepper pots to illustrate simple points that now feel obvious but which had eluded me for decades) are just a few more.

Who in your life might be able to support you as you dare to look? Which organisations might be able to help?

Don’t you deserve to live without that constant heart in mouth feeling of fear around finances?

These are just a few examples and I hope they’ll encourage you to reframe some of the self care and Self care practices you’ve been struggling with so that you remember that you’re worth it

Feel free to email with any questions or comments.

And feel free to share this post on your social media etc so others who may find it helpful can read it.

With love,

Eve Menezes Cunningham self care coach therapist supervisor

*that highest, wisest, truest, wildest, most miraculous part of your Self

If you’re enjoying the features, columns, podcasts, TV and radio clips, , book bonus videos, mind body practices and other free Be Your Own Self Care Coach resources throughout the site, you might want to check out the Feel Better Every Day online membership programme

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