When Self Care Feels Like Extreme Adulting

It can feel unpleasant to look at all the things you’d rather pretend don’t need facing. But using this time of year to do the things you’ve been putting off will help you start 2022 knowing that whatever the New Year brings, you’ve GOT this

Self care isn’t all bubble baths and connecting with your inner wisdom (although that can feel challenging too).

Sometimes, self care means:

  • dealing with the scary noises in the attic
  • going to that hospital check-up and staying even when a part of you wants to flee
  • making that dentist appointment
  • taking an honest look at your finances
  • having that difficult conversation you’ve been dreading
  • setting boundaries and giving yourself all the hugs and support in the world even as your nearest and dearest resist listening to what you’ve worked so hard to say
  • cleaning that mouldy old cupboard – eww. But then PHEW!

But I don’t WANNA. 2021 has been HARD

I hear ye!

As Glennon Doyle likes to say, ‘We can do hard things’

And DOING hard things builds resilience

And you’re already WAY more resilient than you were, say, 2 years ago.

Exhausted, perhaps, but stronger.

You don’t have to do it alone

Sometimes, asking for support can feel even scarier than the thing you’re scared to do.

But none of us can do everything alone.

We humans are wired to need each other.

We HEAL by opening up to (trustworthy) other humans and letting them in.

Our nervous systems find safety, we experience ventral vagal wellness, when we know that the people in our lives are trustworthy. That they love us. That we’re safe with them. That we feel welcome.

And, of course, at this time of year, with all the Christmas films and ads making a case for Every Other Family or Community or Neighbourhood being so lovely, the grass is greenest where we water it.

Taking an honest look at your relationships. Who might you be able to ask to help with _____

What might you help THEM with?

If this feels depressing, imaging the kind of relationships you wish you had and give yourself permission to journal around it, helping you get clarity on what you want more of so you can become an active participant in creating better relationships moving forwards.

All this adulting isn’t INSTEAD of celebrating

Even though Omicron means Christmas 2021 looks to be quite muted, we’re in a better place this year than we were last Christmas.

In this part of the world, all the adults who WANT to be vaccinated have had it and many – myself included – have already had the booster.

I know I feel far better knowing that not everyone who wants it can have it and my getting it will hopefully help them stay healthier.

Embrace your inner Pollyanna

She gets a bad rap but Pollyanna cultivated resilience through The Glad Game and I’ve been drawing on her fictional strength this week,

Am so grateful we HAVE access to the vaccine.

Am so grateful that even though I just found out I have woodworm, I have a plan of action in terms of dealing with it.

While my first Irish income tax bill was much higher than expected, am so grateful to be paying taxes in my new home country and I have a far better idea of how much I’ll be saving towards it moving forward so it’s not a big shock.

I’m so grateful for the medical treatments we have access to, even when I don’t want to have them, knowing that they could potentially be lifesaving.

How might YOU reframe some of the icky, sucky, hideous things you don’t want to have to deal with but know you’ll feel so much better for having sorted?

What little (or big) rewards might you put in place to motivate and encourage you on?

Feel free to email eve@selfcarecoaching.net to let me know.

And please feel free to share this post on your social media etc so others who may find it helpful can read it.

Wherever you are, whoever you’re with, even if you’re missing people you wish could be with you, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.

You can access more blog posts to help you through the pandemic HERE

You might enjoy these ideas for working with the seasonal energies (including a Yoga Nidra and EFT Tap Along) from previous blog posts

With love,

Eve Menezes Cunningham self care coach therapist supervisor

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