Last updated on 02/12/2022
Hi. Rainbow MagnifiCat here again for another lesson in Cattitude. Helping you feline better every day. The human is expanding her boundary setting repertoire from humans (something she’s been working on for decades) to ME. Mwah hahahahah. Wishing you a purrfect festive season whatever you celebrate.
I could get away with murder if I wanted.
Just look how adorable I am.
She finds saying No way tougher than I find hearing No.
She wasn’t expecting to repeat it soooo many times this week.
My first year on this planet, she brought me home from the shelter just a few days before Christmas.
She catastrophised kittens entangled in tinsel and decided against a tree that year.
The next year, I was a delight. I only knocked it down couple of times.
Nothing broke.
She decided it was worth the stress.
I lulled her into a false sense of security, almost ignoring the tree the next few years
Then she bought some beautiful new ornaments and I showed my appreciation by launching myself at them and brought the whole tree down again.
I broke 65% of the new ornaments.
Back then, the tree was in the living room. So was my litter tray and food.
I decided to give the human a break and just pose cutely by it but not give into the temptation to attack it.
Even though I’m a cat and attacking Christmas trees is practically in the job description
This year, she’s been showing off about her boundary setting so, being the wonder cat I am, I decided to help her improve.
An advanced practice.
I’ve been attacking it several times a day.
Initially, she’d coax me out, offer cuddles and gently explain that I needed to stay away from the tree.
To emphasise the importance of her message, she’d paws to take pics and tell me how gorgeous I am.
I like attention.
I like cuddles.
I like (but don’t need) compliments.
She overheard me purring and realised I’d been training HER (again) to scoop me up for cuddles.
When setting boundaries of any kind, consistency is essential
She thought about taking the tree down.
But she really likes it.
I really like it too.
And then she did something she’d never done.
She started removing me from the tree AND the living room.
My litter tray and food and water are elsewhere.
She finds it really hard but keeps doing it.
Gently but firmly. Even when I mew pitifully.
She hears echoes from her Catholic upbringing about ‘banished children of Eve’ but gets a grip and reminds herself that I’m a cat.
Not a child.
And I still have access to cosy spots around the rest of the house.
She’s getting better at it and once my point is made (soon she hopes) I’ll settle down and she’ll start keeping the living room door open again.
Larry, the cat we WISH was the UK’s PM, looks pretty believable but when Evie sees me attacking the tree, she has learned to believe her eyes even though she wishes things were different.
How about YOU?
Are there cats or humans in YOUR life who aren’t hearing your boundaries?
Are you giving mixed messages? The equivalent of taking photos of the very behaviour you’re saying is unacceptable?
How might you be more consistent?
Boundaries can be tough to set and even tougher to live with until you realise IT’S OK.
It’s better than OK.
Being clear and clean around your needs and wants, especially at this time of year when so many humans forget that Christmas ads aren’t a realistic representation of ALL Families Except Your Own.
Take the pressure off yourself.
Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Sometimes, you might push back harder than you wished. Other times, not hard enough. Imagine it as a dance.
Your loved ones will understand.
Purrsonally speaking, I appreciate the pawsitive reinforcement she’s been doing. All I have to do is sit ANYWHERE else in the living room and she’s all about how wonderful I am, amping up her adoration of me even more than usual.
Meow for now,
Rainbow MagnifiCat
aka Purrfection Pawsonified
You can read more of my guest posts HERE and find out about Cat Coaching for Self Care HERE
Read blog posts from other cat-egories HERE and download free self care coaching resources and mind body practices HERE
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