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Do You Trust Yourself?

A few weeks ago, I was talking to someone about what I do and she said that it’s hard for people to trust their inner wisdom and lots of people prefer to be told what to do.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

And I think she’s right.

When I started the long term therapy I needed as I did my counselling training, I’d had a few experiences of shorter term therapy but rocked up spilling my guts, figuring she’d be freaked out, tell me I was too much and I’d have to attempt to find someone else.

Instead, she listened and let me know that while she could help me, she wouldn’t be ‘fixing’ me.

That it isn’t a matter of BEING fixed.

Even though I already knew this logically, a part of me had not-so-secretly hoped that someone else could and would fix me.

By the time I started this long term therapy and the counselling training (2008), I’d already spent several years training in coaching and various other therapies

And I’d become pretty good at motivating myself to over-ride the inherent self-loathing to function better.

But I was ready to deal with the past and hoped that one day, I would naturally feel better.

That it wouldn’t all feel like Such Hard Work.

As I write this now, I feel so sad for Younger Me (and everyone who’s struggled and is struggling now) but also glad that there are so many things we CAN do to help ourselves Feel Better Every Day

When we’re low in energy and mood, it’s natural to want someone else to make everything OK.

But it’s sooooo much more sustainable and empowering to make changes to our lives and lifestyle that work for US.

You’re unique. Just like everybody else.

It’s WORTH doing some detective work to figure out what is going to boost your mood and help you in any way you want support.

Someone might tell you what works for them but only you know what’s right for you in any given moment and mood.

Here are some quick tips:

  1. Stop whatever you’re doing. Notice your breath. Is it stressed and shallow? Calm and deep? You can access a video to help you calm your whole nervous system with the breath HERE but for now, just notice your natural breath
  2. What do you need right now? A stretch? The loo? Some water? Food? A nap? A break? Warmth? Fresh air? We’ve been conditioned from early childhood to sit still at school and over-ride our natural instincts. Something as simple as listening to our bodies’ needs to go grab a drink or something to eat is a step in the right direction
  3. What blocks you from going to bed when you’re tired / eating when you’re hungry? Do you have an app that tells you when it’s time to move? What might help you connect with your own body’s wisdom more? To trust yourself?
  4. What does your mind need? Some down time? More challenge?
  5. What is your body craving from you right now? Rest? Connection? Nourishment? Something else?
  6. What about your heart? What makes your heart sing? When did you last DO this?
  7. And your soul? I moved from the UK to Ireland initially because Brexit was hurting my heart so much (Indian Irish, London born) but it quickly became a soul led move and it felt like the mountain and sea were calling me. That image of Westport Quay from my first visit kept me motivated even when the sale of my home fell through twice and other delays occurred. Your soul’s message may not be as dramatic as mine was but if you gave it sometime and space to whisper to you, what might it need from you?

My Free 28 Elf Care Extravaganza starts on Sunday and will offer you lots of ideas to experiment with. You can sign up here

And my book has a year’s worth of tools so goes into more depth.

I can support you in connecting with your inner wisdom with one to one work or with the resources throughout my site aimed at helping you become your own self care coach.

I look forward to hearing from you if you’d like to get in touch.

Big love,

Eve Menezes Cunningham self care coach therapist supervisor
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