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Essential Supports for Self Care

Last updated on September 26, 2019

It’s all about the trees at the moment. Having planted them last Sunday, we staked them so they’ll (hopefully) grow strong and healthy.

I had wonderful support for BOTH learning curves (am so far out of my depth, I’m becoming a little better at asking for and accepting support myself).

Every storm strengthens our roots but without adequate supports in place, it can feel too challenging.

Staking trees means they can move a little, to strengthen their roots, without blowing over and potentially dying.

In terms of nourishment, I learned that it’s better to NOT put too much in under the trees as this stops it spreading its roots out – the explanation made me think of parents doing too much for teenagers and said teenagers being so comfortable, they never move out.

However old (or young) we are, we need a balance between support and challenge.

In psychosynthesis, there are the archetypes of Love and Will. Love offers acceptance and can be transformational. Will allows action. We need both.

In yoga, sometimes, extra support (gentle self talk, using bolsters and other props) can help us move into a pose more deeply or hold it for longer. Other times, it’s about coming out of it sooner. It’s about being friendlier with our own bodies and minds and discerning the most supportive choice in any given moment. And, of course, the more we practice this on the mat, the easier it gets in other areas of our lives.

When you think of your life at the moment, do you feel more support? What kind of support?

Maybe you have too MUCH support and your growth is being stifled?

When you think about different areas of your life – for example, relationships, work, social life, financial, health and fitness, overall wellbeing, spirituality, fun, long term goals and any others you want to add, what springs to mind when you imagine an ideal level of support to help you evolve in this area?

Being able to ask for support is wonderful self care. Sometimes, we know we have challenging times coming up and we can put supports in place in advance so we know we’ll be covered.

Other times, we might wait too long to ask and a lack of available help might leave us feeling rejected and undeserving of help. Or awed by the way in which people have helped us even without us asking.

Which areas do you find it easiest to ask for support in?

Which areas are more challenging?

If you’d like my support, self care coaching, therapy or supervision, online or outdoors in Westport, can help you explore this or other issues in more depth.

You can find out more about how we might work together HERE and get in touch to arrange a free telephone consultation if my approach appeals.

And, of course, you don’t need me or anyone else to prioritise your self care and put supports in place for yourself.

You might find journalling around the questions above helpful or, if you have friends/loved ones working with similar issues, you could support each other.

Whatever you choose to do, know that our needs evolve. Sometimes, asking for support can feel like completing a marathon (I’m imagining – I’m not a runner). Other times, doing something ourselves can induce feelings of triumph.

Initially, simply pausing to check in with yourself and IMAGINE yourself getting the support that would make the biggest difference in any given moment is a wonderful first step.

As we take these small steps, they become more habitual and we can build on them.

Big love,

Eve Menezes Cunningham self care coach therapist supervisor

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