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Self Care Coaching When You Feel Like You’re Out of Your Depth

I’m between moves and it’s another big week with a lot happening.

I’m grateful for all of it but I realised yesterday afternoon that I needed to be underwater to let it all sink in a bit.

So I cycled over to the sea (I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this element of living in heaven on earth) and my first attempt failed.

Each step got heavier and I realised I was in mud flat land. I wanted a sea swim not to be literally sinking in mud.

I extracted myself (my foot got a bit stuck at one point – it was nothing to worry about) and got back on my bike to cycle a bit further around the coast.

It reminded me again how much NLP has helped me transform my life. What I was attempting wasn’t working but instead of giving up, I extracted myself from the mud and had an amazing swim from around the corner. How often do we give up on our goals when we’re actually quite close to them becoming our realities?

And again, I so wish I had an underwater camera to show you the beauteous seaweed and shells and rocks I was face to face with.

Almost the second I first swam out of my depth, I felt my whole system recalibrate and I massively exhaled.

I’d been feeling out of my depth all day (lots of forms, numbers, legalities etc) and while I had known I wanted to be in the sea, I now understood the congruence with how I felt and literally BEING out of my depth in the wondrous Atlantic.

I instantly felt soothed and calmer and more confident about each (sometimes scary) step I’m taking.

Going between the view of the sea weed, totally at ease, going with the flow and then the majestic mountains, steady and grounded.

Realising it would be weird to NOT be a bit freaked out sometimes.

I’ve made and am still making some very big changes.

It also made me laugh because I’ve decided that the Atlantic Ocean is my favourite colour. Whether it’s the stunning teal of today or that wintry grey I still adore, I love every drop of the ocean.

I know the power of self acceptance, self empathy and self compassion and want learn to be as accepting of my own moods as I am of the sea’s changes. It’ll help me avoid feeling like I need to act strong and confident when I really want a hug.

You might not ever crave a sea swim but perhaps you find the fear factor of rollercoasters or similar help you ahhhhhhhhhh when life feels a bit out of control?

Maybe it’s something completely different for you.

What helps you get your equilibrium back when you’re feeling out of your depth?

It could be something active like a swim or adventure park.

It might be something like sitting in a favourite spot in your garden or neighbourhood.

It might even be curling up under your duvet and letting yourself heal in the warmth and dark.

When we stop beating ourselves up for however we’re feeling and instead listen to what we need, life feels so much easier.

If you’d like my support, you can find out more about working with me and get in touch if my approach appeals and you’d like to book a free, no obligation telephone consultation.

And you don’t need to work with me or anyone else to be your own self care coach and listen to your inner wisdom, journaling or simply DOING something that feels like it will support you more in any given moment.

You’ll also find lots of simple and effective self care ideas in my book, 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing (White Owl, 2017) and you can access some of the free accompanying videos HERE.

Big love,

Eve Menezes Cunningham self care coach therapist supervisor

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