Does Self Care Ever Feel Bad?

In today’s video and blog, we’re looking at ways in which even things that we enjoy and that we know are going to help us feel better can sometimes be used (by us) in a way that’s more punitive than nourishing.

I shared an interesting piece from the Harvard Business Review a few weeks ago (if we’re not already connected on social media, please do find me using the links on this page) which looked at ways in which self care is sometimes more about numbers and metrics (apps and devices telling us about our sleep and activity instead of feeling what feels good for us). You can read it HERE and I’d love to know your thoughts – mine are that apps and monitors can be really helpful as long as we remember that we know ourselves better than they (or anyone else) knows us. How do YOU feel? Are you making self care into something you feel you ‘should’ be doing? Working at?

In the video, I talk about ways to work with our inner toddler – there are going to be times when we resist doing the self care things that will ultimately really help us and other times, we can be too harsh with ourselves and something normally nourishing (eg a swim) could be punitive if we forced ourselves.

I’m also encouraging you to think about what works for you and to make it as sustainable as possible. Scheduling in exercise, yoga, meditation etc, time alone, time with loved ones. Batch cooking – I forgot to mention how much I love my freezer for keeping as many nutrients in excess soups and smoothies but we really can use modern technology to support rather than control us.

My blog for was picked up by Arianna Huffington’s Thrive Global – I only found out last night and so, while it’s sharing self care tools for mind, body, heart and soul and focused around New Year, I hope you’ll find elements helpful now and throughout the year. You can read it HERE

Howling to myself as I appear to be obsessed with Marie Kondo even though I’ve not yet seen her new Netflix show (catching up on all my Sky+ before I move and return the ancient box) – I talk about her in my book, in today’s video and even in the blog post above 🙂 Doing more of what sparks joy is SUCH a simple self-care tool.

And, of course, my book (HERE) has a tool or idea for every day of the year. Some are pretty out there for a lot of people but many are practical, rooted in science and tradition. Ultimately, do what feels like good self care for you.

Did you take a moment at the end of the video to connect with your inner wisdom? You might want to make a note of it. Do it often and make a list or drop little notes in a jar, box or vase so when you know you need a boost but feel too foggy to THINK of what might help, you can draw one at random (or ask to draw one for your Highest Good before picking it) and experiment.

And I’d love to hear how you got on if you want to share. And, of course, if you have any questions, comments or would like to work with me, do get in touch (

What are your non-negotiable self care practices? (I’d normally have swimming so high on my list… it’ll be back soon).

Big love,

Eve Menezes Cunningham self care coach therapist supervisor



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